Kick your Depression in Nine Months

Want to kick your depression? O.k., let's go.

Years of working with people who were depressed taught me that therapy seldom works. People come in to therapy depressed, rebound while working with the therapist, stay uplifted for a day or two, then sink, only to come in for the next therapy session depressed. I had to question why.

What I realized is that we, as therapists, make suggestions to people, but we don't lay out a plan. We speak in abstracts--and don't spell out the specifics. The specifics are necessary.

The Nine Month Plan laid out in my book If I Could Just Snap Out of It, Don't You Think I Would? provides the details. The plan is based on what is known about the lives of happy people. Half the plan is behavioral (addressing what you do) and the other half is cognitive (addressing how you think.) The plan is laid out in calendar form and is easy to follow. It's a plan to kick your depression.

Let's start with the behavioral portion. People who are depressed are isolated and lonely. Because their depression has taken over their lives, they often are not working. They feel they are not contributing to society. Not working also means they don't have much money. The combination of these factors makes them feel like pariahs. Feeling so, they stay away from others. Add to this that the medications they have taken to manage their disorders have caused them to put on weight. So now a dislike of their bodies is added to their general discomfort. They feel stuck. They don't do the activities that once brought them pleasure and don't learn new things. Their problems become the focus of their lives. They are the first to say they are boring. They need a plan, a calendar-based, cognitive behavioral plan.

The behavioral portion of the plan requires that people go out and connect with others at least three times a week for at least an hour a time. People are encouraged to go where they know others, as the ultimate object is to make friends. But even if they know no one, they are still required to go out. Further, they are asked to initiate at least one conversation per outing. Realizing that social interactions are hard for many, tips on how to start conversations are offered.

Another part of the behavioral plan requires that people volunteer once a week for at least two hours. The reason? Depressed people are preoccupied with their own problems. Helping others puts things in perspective and lets them see that they can and do make a significant difference in the lives of others.

People are also required to exercise three times a week, two of these times with other people, and to spend an hour-and-a-half a week learning something new. Gaining knowledge about something new sparks a renewed interest in the self.

Additionally, the plan asks that people spend an hour-and-a-half a week doing something they once enjoyed as depressed people often have forgotten what it is like to have fun.

The cognitive part of the plan begins by addressing people's resistance to fighting their depression. It's not that depressed people want to be depressed. They don't, but they want their depression to go away by itself. The cognitive portion of the plan teaches people that depression has to be fought actively.

People also are taught how to talk back to their awful and very automatic internal thoughts. ("I'm a loser" or "I'm a fat pig.") They learn what underlying messages they are giving themselves in these statements ("I want to lose weight") and they decide what they want to do about these messages ("I'm going to lose ten pounds by cutting my food and going to the gym.") Then, they make detailed, time-specified plans for accomplishing the goals that they have identified.

Want to kick your depression? Follow the plan in If I Could Just Snap Out of It, Don't You Think I Would? The plan is spelled out in great detail. It offers lots of stories of how depressed people found hope and meaning and got better. Spending nine months challenging your thoughts and behaviors will allow you to see that you can change. And change often brings happiness.

The book will be available on this site in 2011. But lots of the ideas from the book are already here, on line. However, if you get started on the plan and have any questions for me, just email me. My email is listed under Contact Information.

Kick your depression. You can do it. Return from Kick your Depression to Home Page.